Opinion:A Message To The Bullies
Lessons Learned From Middle School
Recently, I reported on outgoing school board president Tony Rebottaro’s comment that this town “bullies everyone” (Rebottaro Comments). His comments have now made the front page of the Tecumseh Herald. While I criticized him for not recognizing the bullying that occurred from certain members of his own board, I would also like to reflect on the truth in his statement.
When I substitute at TMS on Fridays, I often offer to stand guard at the playground crosswalk. I’ve had people yell at me from their cars because I stopped them to let kids cross. Meanwhile, on the playground, I sometimes hear kids yelling at other kids. It’s a lot of bullying to deal with. Tony is right, it starts in the home. I’d like to take Tony’s point a bit further: it starts with the individual.
If you found yourself agreeing with Tony’s statements, you probably thought of an instance where you were bullied, or watched others get bullied. You likely conjured an image of yourself being surrounded by it. This means everyone is thinking that everyone else is the bully. So who is the bully, really? The bully is you. The bully is me. We have all been a bully at one point, but I do not believe that we are defined by it. We have bullied, but we are not bullies.
If you work at TMS, or you have a student enrolled there, you have undoubtedly heard Principal Howard say, “Make good choices!” I tell my children, and my students, that none of us are “bullies”, or “bad kids” for that matter. We choose to bully, or choose to do something bad. We are the sum of our choices at every moment. This applies to adults too. We are not a town full of bullies. We are a town of individuals that sometimes make poor choices. That includes me. It includes you too.
I’ve always been an admirer of Joe and Kellie McInchak, our district’s band directors. Today, a few 6th graders were making poor choices. They were playing their kazoos instead of listening to Joe’s direction. Joe looked at a student and said (in his calm, Joe voice), “Sometimes, we have to set the proper example so that others have something to follow”. The student raised her saxophone to her lips quietly, ready to take direction. The class began to notice, and quickly fell in line. Joe’s words hit me hard.
We must set the example for others to follow. This community has valid issues to express, but we’re all too busy “playing our kazoos” when we should be listening. I accused Tony of hypocrisy for not seeing the bullies within his own circle, but I failed to listen to the truth he was speaking. We are choosing to be bullies. We have to choose to be better. It starts with each of us.
Make good choices, Tecumseh.